What interesting times are these.
I only want to say that I don't care to share much about myself anymore and so here it is 14 or months since I last posted.
I have gone inward and into isolation to protect myself from anxiety and worry. I also can't care what other people think of me, and other people really don't want to know what I think about them.
It all started with Facebook and - no, it started with the election in 2016 which made me physically ill for weeks. Then the Facebook breach and the hateful posts that were coming from people I liked. I would get so angry and try to change others' opinions and then get even more angry. I unfriended and unfollowed a number of people, my relatives among them.
With my heart condition, I cannot get stressed. I have to practice letting my anger go and in the process, I have lost a lot of what and who I am. I have been angry all of my life, not that it showed, but it was there. All it got me was a cranky heart that refuses to beat with a regular rhythm.
I have lost interest in things, too. Going to estate auctions and seeing a whole of another person's household goods being sold for almost nothing and I look around my house and that is what I see: my belongings that will mean nothing to anyone when I am gone.
I have nice craft equipment and once this contagion is over, I plan on selling what I have not used in the last two years. Tablet weaving, tatting, weaving, felting, hat making. I am not interested. It's going to be sold now while I can get a better price.
I am so tired of just every fucking day.
Tuesday, December 04, 2018
He has been a problem child lately, even more so than usual. Last week he jumped Snoopy's shit over a dog biscuit and Snoop still cannot eat hard food. (There was no blood, but something certainly was bruised.) Today, Corky and I got into it over food. He snarled and growled at me as I tried to give Snoop a soft treat. I didn't have the energy to be alpha dog to him, and that schtick doesn't work anyway when food is involved. I get it that he is elderly, (13,) and probably doesn't feel great because of his chronic skin problems and allergies, but it gets fucking old. I actually looked into dumping him on a Corgi rescue in St. Louis this summer, and there were emails sent back and forth, but in the end, the rescue never came through. So here we are.
Elsewhere, Sweetie's new job at Coke is working out well! At least for now, it is 4 10-hour days each week. Once his 90 days are up, he says he expects overtime. Insurance will kick in then, too, so that's good. Just 2 and a half more weeks to go. His body is still healing from the punishing pace at his old job, but he doesn't ache constantly because instead of being the sole maintenance mechanic on call 24/7, he is one of four mechanics on his shift. Also? More money. Yay!
Monday, November 05, 2018
Saturday, November 03, 2018
Tuesday, October 09, 2018
Lovely little mushrooms in my astilbe pot.
So. I'm okay. Sweetie started work at Coca~Cola, and we are both happy. Better hours and more money, working for a stable Benevolent Overlord.
The weather breaks tomorrow, and we will be truly into autumn. I spent 6 hours in the open Saturday, for a stupid reason, and I have not yet recovered. I am hoping that the cool weather will make me feel better because it usually does.
Sweetie and I both acquired poison ivy from Snoopy, over a week ago. Not too bad or concentrated in one spot, but itchy enough.
We are working out about every other day to videos by Hasfit on Youtube. The ones for the seniors and the elderly, which still leaves us breathing fast and a little giddy. And I have mostly quit cheese because calories.