Flower bed

Raised bed of vegetables

 Photos of the garden taken on June 16th. Everything is bigger and more lush every day.

 

I don’t know how long it’s been since my last post, but I bet it was before my 4th and last round of chemo, for now. (I checked and it was June 2.) I was laid low for 10 days and very weak. Now, 2 and 1/2 weeks out, I am feeling better. Not 100%, but better. I’ll see the oncologist July 8, and will get another CT scan then. I am trying to have no expectations, but I do hope that I won’t have any more chemo soon. 

Sweetie is having to work 8 days straight, for various reasons, and I worry about him. And he worries about me. The new company, who bought out the old company last October, has gutted maintenance and their budget and the mechanics are quitting and they wonder why their company is not as productive as they once were. Duh. Sweetie has seen it before and he says he will keep his head down and do his job. Around this area, his job pays really well (and there is the, you know, insurance and I need that insurance.) I was scouting out a local snack plant and the pay for sanitation workers was $13 and production paid $12. That’s a hard nope.

School Marm has ended her public school teaching career and is casting about for something part time locally. Her commute had been an hour each way, and even with her Toyota Corolla, it was costing her $70 a week in gas. She was not alone; about a quarter of the high school teachers also quit. I found out that a starting teacher here in Missouri makes $25,000. School Marm has a Masters and some other advanced certification, and I won’t say how much she made, but it wasn’t enough. It’s shameful. I’m too tired to rant. 

The garden and the entire back yard is looking great, so that’s a joy. I will hand all the glory for it to School Marm who has diligently started seeds, transplanted seedlings, dug in the dirt, and so much more. Most days I have had so little energy that all I am capable of very little. Sweetie has gotten into the spirit with the weed whacker and loppers and so the fence line is clear. 

I finished the Night Shawl, but I don’t have photographic evidence. My twitchy hands needed a project so I bought some sock yarn from Simply Socks in Ft. Wayne, IN. (I am pleased with her service; my order was shipped within an hour.) And because my brain needed a project, too, I am learning how to knit socks on 2 circular needles. I have been resistant to changing from my bamboo double points, of which I have many, but I will be attempting to knit a pair of socks using mosaic stitch and every online tutorial and pattern I ran across suggested 2 circulars. So here I am knitting a pair of vanilla socks with them and once I got into the rhythm, it has become pleasurable. I had to order the needles from Knit Picks because I did not have any. These are chrome plated size 1, and they are comfortable and smooth to knit with. I think I am a convert.

 

Priorities, people!

 

The last round of chemo left me weak. 

It’s the little indignities that get to me; being incontinent until a week before the next round begins so I try to balance how much fluid I should drink versus how often I want to change my pee pad. It’s like I think, “I have to go pee” and my body says, “Okay!” and I say, “Wait until I get to the bathroom!” and my body says, “Oops! Too late. lol.”

I have been tired and depressed and out of sorts. Even a little weepy. The tired and depressed part very well could be allergies as I have been outside in the pollen-verse trying to garden. And the other reason is, of course, the cancer. Last time, I at least thought I was going to get well. Now, I know that I can only prolong my life at the cost of being made ill by the chemo, the next round of which begins June 8. 

There is something about growing plants from seed that makes it nice to visit the greenhouse twice a day to check their progress. And they do give me hope that I will see the vegetables bear fruit this fall and enjoy the perennials again next year. Of course, I have way too many tomato plants but I am sure I can find a home for them, just not in my garden. Ditto with the zinnias. I have saved the zinnia seeds every year now for 4-5 years. They originally came from a neighbor I call Farmer Paul because he always had a huge vegetable garden that he devoted a lot a time and energy and love to. He also would have several rows of zinnias that he saved seed from for the following year. One year, he gave me a handful of seeds and thus my surfeit of plants this year. But last fall, Farmer Paul got an infection in a cut on his foot from the garden soil and it was pretty bad. I haven’t talked to him lately, but his garden is unworked and forlorn and I know he must be missing it.

Anything else of interest? Well, the Night Shift shawl is almost done; I am working the I-cord bind off so maybe I can block it tomorrow. I am anxious to return to Mosaic Knitting. I took the book, ‘Mosaic Knitting’ by Barbara Walker to the local print/u-Haul rental and returns/office supply/USP drop off/and gift shop to have them make the paperback into a spiral bound book. (There is nothing quite so aggravating as a pattern book that will not lay flat.) This was a week ago. Long story short, the lady tasked with the job screwed up the process and the book was not satisfactory so the owner ordered me another copy of the book and I truly hope they get it right this time. 

I am not sure what I will knit first, but I may try a tubular scarf, knit in the round. The other thing would be an afghan made with mosaic knit squares. This would require me to order more yarn and I am not sure I want to commit.

Such is my life. Small plans.