Friday, December 15, 2006

HERE'S A CONCEPT - A PHOTO!

I love Laurie's blog, Crazy Aunt Purl. She is funny, clever, voluable, vulnerable and she puts all of it on virtual paper with skill. Makes me not want to compete.

So. You may have noticed that I haven't blogged much lately. Cecelia has left me - I'm hoping for only a short while.

But I am feeling great! I haven't felt so good physically or mentally in ages (thank you, St. Pharmacutica) and I have been catching up on a number of things. Sold and moved out the huge ass loom that has dominated my studio for over three years. Had some art framed. I've been cooking! You know, all those normal type things that have been beyond my abilities for so long. I am having creative-type art ideas.

Valerie suggested a PHOTO of the cravat pattern. What a good idea! I am so retarded. By the way, you may print and use the pattern - just don't say that you wrote it, okay?

Neither of these fun fur (remember that stuff??) cravats are exactly like the pattern, but should give you a general idea of what it looks like.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

BACK TO KNITTING!


Here is a little pattern that I (yes, me, who is not a fast knitter) knit in less than two hours.
LADY'S CRAVAT

You will need about an ounce of some soft and yummy yarn and either straight or circular needles that are the appropriate size for your yarn.

Cast on 25 stitches, loosely.
Row 1) Knit 11, knit 3 together, knit 11.
Row 2) Knit 23.
Row 3) Knit 10, knit 3 together, knit 10.
Row 4) Knit 21.
Row 5) Knit 9, knit 3 together, knit 9.
Row 6) Knit 19.

Continue in this manner, decreasing by knitting 3 together every odd numbered row and knitting every even numbered row until there are 9 stitches left. (It may help to mark the odd row side with a safety pin.)

Knit every row until work measures at least 22”. You can make it longer if you wish.

Begin increases:
Row 1) Knit 4, knit 3 stitches in next stitch, knit 4.
Row 2) Knit 11.
Row 3) Knit 5, knit 3 stitches in next stitch, knit 5.
Row 4) Knit 13.
Row 5)Knit 6, knit 3 stitches in next stitch, knit 6.
Row 6) Knit 15.

Continue in this manner, increasing in the center stitch every odd row and knitting every even row, until there are 25 stitches. Bind off loosely. Weave in ends and steam lightly to block, if desired.

Now, make another one using a different, delicious yarn!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

WINTER IS HERE!

It was a real mess around here Wednesday & Thursday. DOT sprayed some de-icer on exit ramps of the Interstate, but it was more like oil.
There were several accidents at almost every exit.
Then I had this dick pull out in front of me.

Friday, December 08, 2006

OVERHEARD...

I have felt like being around people, but only virtually. Here is what I have "heard" recently. Oh, yes, there's a Murgatroyd photo. (Unfortunately, the baby didn't make it.)



The English Model

Little girl: Mommy, where do people go when they're bad?
Mother: Australia, sweetie, with all the snakes.

--Central Park

Overheard by: Girl from Australia


via Overheard in New York, Dec 7, 2006

Girl on cell: Look, Peter, I'm not saying that I hate you. It's just that you f*cking annoy me so much that I'd rather eat my own spleen than go out with you again.

--Starbucks, 45th & 6th

Bright-purple-mohawk guy to shaved-head girl with multiple nose piercings: Your best friend is so weird!

--12th St & University Pl

1PM Playing with an Extra-Full Deck

Coworker #1: I can get news from all 52 states!
Coworker #2: Uh... there are only 50 states.
Coworker #1: Duh -- Alaska and Hawaii!

Chelmsford, Massachusetts

4PM Being the Truth Fairy Is Less Fun than I Thought It Would Be

Bearded man in green pixie wig, pink feather boa, and fairy wings: I think about death every day.

577 Western Avenue
Westfield, Massachusetts


"As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people… On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." ~ H. L. Mencken, Baltimore Sun, July 26, 1920

Thursday, November 30, 2006

THE CRONES ARE COMING!

Every first weekend in December, my spinning guild gathers in Pleasant Hill, Kentucky at a restored Shaker community for spinning, fun and friendship. And food. Don't forget the food. Everyone in the group tries to come, so we have forty to fifty women and some men there. I have been going for 6 or 7 years.

Three years ago, in the summer, whilst mowing the lawn, Sandy had a thought. We should honor and celebrate these older women in the group for all they have done for us tadpoles. Thus was born the Crowning of the Crones and the Crone Procession. Every member of the guild votes, and this year it is a landslide - but I can't tell you who it is, it's a secret until tomorrow night! The Old Crones and a few of us planners call out the name(s) of the new inductees, who are then garbed in purple capes, a sterling silver spinning wheel charm necklace, a hat and scepter (a drop spindle with a thyroid condition.) Then all the Crones parade around the room (last year, Martha played Pomp and Circumstance on the hammer dulcimer) three times.

The first inductee of this select group was Vivian. She was surprised and speechless when she was dragged to the center of the room and then bedecked in her cape and hat and all. Sandy gave a heart felt speech, everyone screamed, hollered, and clapped and thought it was over.

Apparently Norma Jean thought it was over, too, as she confided to Martha, "I am so glad that wasn't me!" Ha ha! Her expression was priceless when her name was called as the second Crone inductee! She received the same honors as Vivian. I thought I was going to die, I laughed so hard!

What is my part in this spectacle? I don't write the songs, I make the costumes. And I wait until the last minute to buy all the fabric and stuff, because nothing brings out creativity more than a lack of options. That's my story anyway, and I'm sticking to it. I'm mostly done with the capes, but still have the hats and scepters to finish. I leave tomorrow around 1:00. Plenty of time! (For those of you that don't know, I used to make costumes for the theatre, movies and TV way back when.)

Here is baby bunny, still alive. When I checked on him tonight, though, his body temperature was cool to the touch and he had a bite from mom on his little head. Not a bad bite, but no bite from mom is a good bite. I neatened up the nest and held him for awhile to warm him. Maybe Bambi missed Percival, who I had caged this morning, so I turned him loose again. He generally hangs out at her cage, sometimes jumping on top of it. I'll check on baby again tonight, maybe put some cardboard under him so he can't just lie on the cage floor.


Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
  - Douglas Adams

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Have we met?

The neonate is thriving, (touch wood) and looks brown like mom, Bambi.

Clipt Griselda this evening.
I find it hard to capture the bunny essence in my photos, except for Murgie. He doesn't take a bad picture. But tonight, it is Griselda's turn to be featured.

Caution!! Bad Words Ahead

Essence Of NYC: A Play in One Act

Bimbo tourist #1: Anyway, so when he pulled it out of me it made this farting noise, and I know it wasn't a fart because it didn't smell, and... It was just really embarrassing.
Bimbo tourist #2: Quip.
Bimbo tourist #1: What?
Bimbo tourist #2: A quip. The farting noise, it's called a 'quip.'
Bimbo tourist #1: Oh, they have a name for it? Wow.
Bimbo tourist #2: Oh, totally. It happens to a lot of people.
Stranger: Um, that's not right.
Bimbo tourist #2: Excuse me, sir?
Stranger: No, it's 'queef.'
Bimbo tourist #2: Wait, what?
Bimbo tourist #1: I think he's saying his name is 'Queef' or something.
Bimbo tourist #2: Oh, sorry. Excuse me, Queef?
Stranger: No... Oh, lord. The sound, it's 'queef.'
Bimbo tourist #2: Who's a 'queef?' What's going on?
Bimbo tourist #1: I think he's one of those crazy subway guys you hear about. I think he's telling us he's gay.
Stranger: I can hear you, and I'm not... What? That's 'queer,' you ingrate!
Bimbo tourist #1: Here's some money for you, sir. Buy your boyfriend a nice grocery cart or something.
Stranger: What?! Does it look like I'm homeless to you? I'm wearing fucking YSL over here... I ain't queer and I ain't homeless. You ignorant, you skinny, Paris Hilton-wannabe whores. All I was saying to you was that when your sleazy-ass friend over here pulled her boyfriend's dick out of her STD-ridden pussy, the word...
Bimbo tourist #1: I'm not following... Is he speaking Cockney or something?
Bimbo tourist #2: I don't know. Are you allowed to mace crazy hobos?
Stranger: ...I'm not fucking crazy!
Bimbo tourist #2: Of course you aren't, sir.
Passenger: Oh, shut your mouth, both of ya, or I'm gonna whoop both your scrawny asses, you hear?
Stranger: Thank you. All I was saying was...
Old lady: Ah, hell no! Can't you see this conversation has gone past anyone in this damn subway's comprehension? Know when to drop it, brother. Know when to drop it.
Bimbo tourist #2: [Mouthing] Oh my god.
Bimbo tourist #1: I know. That was intense.
Stranger, muttering to himself: ... Last time I ever take a subway... Unbelievable shit I put up with... Fucking Civics... Unreliable fuckers...

--L train


via Overheard in New York, Nov 28, 2006