Virtue is its own punishment.
- Aneurin Bevan
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.
- Jerome K. Jerome
Blue Acorn says "I looked at my calendar and decided that it is physically impossible for me to get everything done that I need to in the next 3 months. Oh well."
If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue.
- Unknown
I have always been an introvert, but I just realized that I have never been introspective. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE. Never have journaled. Never had psychotherapy. I throw away letters and cards. Brooding about the past but never dealing with it.
So. It may come as no surprise to some, but I just realized that I have been depressed from about the age of 14. I practiced self-mutilation at fifteen - cigarette burns on my flesh. I ran away from home at 17. My mother killed herself two weeks later. I self medicated. (Heh-heh. It was the seventies after all. Back when one could find hashish and opium and mescaline and acid.) I got sick and dropped out of high school. Swell!! Let us move 700 miles away to live with an almost stranger in a very big city.
Oh yeah. I adjusted very well. Hot dog on a stick, what a mess I was.
2 comments:
Hmm. I think I share a similar issue (not sufficiently introspective to heal), though I'm fighting with it and have been for a while, now.
Reading DARK NIGHTS OF THE SOUL right now. It's somewhat helpful. Maybe. We'll see.
I looked up Dark Nights of the Soul to see what kind of book is was. Valerie, let me know if it helps.
No, I will not journal. I have tried it more than once and I hate it. (What I did try once was just writing for a page. It's an exercise from the The Artist's Way. If one has nothing to say, then one writes "I have nothing to say. Damn this page. I must fill up this page." Eventually, your real thoughts come out.) Even with insurance, I cannot afford psychotherapy.
Blogging does seem to work for me. And just talking about about stuff with Sweetie and friends.
Post a Comment