Just because

 

No Wordle. Maybe I can get back to it today.

Seven days out from my last chemo treatment, and this is the first day that I have felt almost normal, albeit still very weak. I have 10 days until I get to do it all over again. I do not hurt anywhere but my brain is thoroughly fucked. I accidentally paid School Marm’s credit card bill, not mine, and boy did that lay me low. I beat myself up for half a day because I hate that my brain is thoroughly fucked. I’m better now and all bill’s are paid. I just need to get that payment back from School Marm and get over myself. 

I wasn’t able to get my head shaved before my hair started coming out by the handfuls. I looked like the Crypt Keeper from Tales of the Crypt for a week and now it’s all gone except for a few stragglers. Interestingly, going through all this for a second time is easier; I know most of what to expect and so it freaks me out less.

Got to see a friend for the first time in a year-and-a-half; she moved state. Was so good to know she is doing well. Only wish I had more energy when she stopped by. 

Another acquaintance is in Scotland for the 4th time. I want to go and if I am able, I will go to England and Scotland this summer or early fall. Maybe Ireland, I don’t know. I’ve been an Anglophile for as long as I can remember and going there has been on my I’m-gonna-do-this list. So if not now, then when?

Had a short IM with my eldest brother. I told him I have metastatic cancer and we chatted about our health problems and death, etc. I told him I was at peace and he asked how I was able to be at peace. I said a few philosophical things and then said that not believing in an afterlife was helpful.

All I got was crickets after that. Maybe he just didn’t know how to respond to what used to be called a free thinker. I am trying to be generous.