Thursday, August 31, 2006

Let's Eat!

Lord Murgatroyd cracks me up. I feed the dogs every evening about 7:30, and Murgie knows it. When I start rattling dog bowls and dishing out pellets, he hops into his cage and starts looking for his food. Sweetie took two photos of him to his work yesterday, since he yammers on about him all the time. I think he has his own fan club now! Murgie, too.

Learned a couple of things recently. First, I look great in V necks! I've always hated V necks and never wore them until this summer. I can now identify both horse weed and ragweed. They are in bloom now. I am a masochist and a passive-aggressive so I almost got into an argument with Sweetie but went out and mowed this afternoon instead. I'll make myself sick and that'll show the bastard.

Thanks for all the emails and fish. I do need your good vibes right now.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


It's a funny thing, how one's moods/hormones/medical condition/etc. can color one's outlook on life and even one's perception of reality. A few days ago I was in the midst of well-being and willing to happily co-exist with the world and now - and now - I feel an overwhelming sense of despair, anxiety, and uselessness. It isn't a good way to feel. So I feel guilt and shame, which exacerbates the depression. Crap.

Yesterday I was in a state. Arkansas? Alabama? Ha Ha. No, really, it was ugly. My mind was full of anxiety over things that I had no control over. For example, the grass is high and lawn mower is awaiting a part. Barn door is still broken. House still needs painting. Flower bed is a shambles. Bunny barn needs to be mucked out. (Insert everything Sweetie has not done in last year.) I was angry and aggravated the entire day, made worse by Sweetie working two 12 hour days in a row. And I got mad at him for not tackling these projects RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT! Useless and pointless, but that is where I was and sort of still am. I'm trying to get over it.

The weather is changing now and getting cooler. Maybe that will help. If we can get this crappy air out of here and I stay inside until then, maybe I will feel good once again.

This morning I clipped Griselda. I got her from my friend Diane L. a couple of years ago when Diane got out of the bunny biz. She never has been of much worth, angora fiber-wise, but we took her in and cared for her nonetheless. She has finally delivered good wool thanks maybe to better feed and her own cage. Murgie was quite smitten with her and did his best to impregnate her but as far as I can tell, penetration never occurred. Life is so hard for a footloose (footless) bunny.

I now have 24 angora bunnies. I did the math. 4 clips per bunny per year = about 100 clips per year. Wow. About 16 ounces prime angora per bunny per year = 384 ounces. 384 ounces of angora at an average of five dollars an ounce = $1920 a year. A living wage in Arkansas or Alabama. (I jest.) The little critters pay for their feed and hay and I make a little bit, too. Those of you thinking about following in my footsteps, beware!

I have pictures! Griselda looking good! Also Lord Murgatroyd still lusting for Miss G. And I said I would get you all a shot of the current ART project which is called at the moment "Praying Figure." Do not judge yet. It is a work in progress. And hon, being 'honned' is nothing but my southern heritage, something I thought I'd hidden, like one hides a petticoat. Yes, you need to check daily! All kindsa shit is apt to happen at any time whatsoever! We are wild and krazy! If you don't check every day, you may MISS IT!

Monday, August 28, 2006


I still feel bad. Or rather, I feel bad again after having a few good days.

Spent much of Friday and Saturday outside at Sellersburg Celebrates with Lynne. We were in the Fine Arts (ha ha) tent, close to the row of food vendors. "Why yes, let's buy this silver necklace then go get some funnel cake." I found the hours confusing, vendor parking wasn't thought out, and the lousy hot and thick air kept the customers away from our $85 booth. What fun. Lynne sold a couple of purses and a few skeins of yarn and made contacts and did okay - she made enough to cover the booth and a little bit more. The money I made came from her, as she bought 5 of my miniature quilted landscapes and two pair of knitting needles.

It was the sitting outside that has made my Allergies flare up and the Allergies brought along their little friend, Depression. Sweetie says that everyone where he works is complaining that their allergies are bad at this time, even those who have never been bothered before by allergies.

What to do? I'm gonna go take my second nap of the day here in a minute. I feel extremely low energy. Xtreme Sloth! That's part of my problem, the guilt of not being productive. It's hard for me to acknowledge that I'm really ill and not just being lazy. And there is always so much to do! If I even try to knit right now, I will most certainly fall asleep. Blogging isn't keeping me awake very well, either.

So let me finish today by saying that I have begun an art quilt using the silk noil which I dye painted. I started out not really knowing where the piece would end and then stared at and studied it for a few days. Re-did some of the first work and am now happy. The subject is a praying figure and the colors are warm pinks and reds. I will try for a photo next post.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


The allergies are back and badder than ever. I am hot to the touch. My stomach is queasy, with food and without. I have a headache. Sweetie reminded me that late summer is always bad for me because of ragweed and nettles. I'm trying to stay inside as much as I can and I am taking my medz - what else can I do?

I am working on a pair of socks, the ones with that nice ribbing. Have turned the heel and am on the straight away going toward the toes. This is the second pair in a row that I have used the short row heel and toe and it went a bit better this time - only one rip out session. I did what I should have done a long time ago - I placed a lamp near me so I can see what the hell I am doing. Imagine that! Being able to see those teen-eintsy dark blue stitches clearly does make a difference!

Pampered P wondered about the trial out come. I refer you to the archives, hon, the first post after August 2. Hint: it was good!

Wendy has emailed twice. Hi, Wen!

And today, Sweetie turns 44!

This is all I can do today - I'll get back to regular and more interesting blogging soon.

Thursday, August 17, 2006



This is another day in which the score is ALLERGIES - 14, HOME TEAM - 0. I feel like crap on a stick. (Must be State Fair time!) Also, the hot flashes are active. The "Flashes" are morphing and these are like a circulatory tidal wave. Have you ever been very cold and washed your hands in warm/hot water? You can feel the warmed blood flowing up your arms. This is like that but not as much fun and it involves my whole body.

Slept most of the afternoon. The dream I just had was funny in places. I dreamt that I was putting whole bunnies through my drum carder! There were other crazy things, but I still have this mental image of Spot going headfirst into the machine.

Looks like we'll be awash in baby bunnies in 31 days. I let Kelly Bob run free last night and discovered this morning that Groovy had broken out to join her. I had neglected to completely latch his cage. Damn me. I immediately put her in with Fuzzy Bob, an agouti, and let him have his way with her - hoping that his genes could fight their way to the front, so to speak. GO, BOYS! This will be Kelly Bob's fourth litter this year and all unplanned. Fuckity, fuck, fuck, and fuck. Literally and figuratively.

Began a new pair of socks a few days ago. For this pair, I cast on using the tubular method and knit 24 rows in k1 p1 rib. For the k1, I knit into the back of the stitch. The difference in the ribbing is amazing! I need to practice the cast on, because I like the concept and the appearance when done correctly, and I am totally loving the rib fabric.

Someone (Lamar??) left orphan tomatoes for me. Beautiful and tasty no matter who left them.

Here's two doses of the not-quite-daily Murgatroyd fix. The lord is drinking from the dogs' water dish while Buster eats supper. And milord relaxes. (Looks like a beefcake shot to me.)

Monday, August 14, 2006


My anxiety dreams have changed over the years. Through my twenties, I had flat out nightmares - mostly of something chasing me. But I also had typical anxiety dreams, like 'the school bus is coming and I can't find my clothes/shoes/school book' or 'the school bus is honking at the end of the driveway and I try to run or yell and can't.' (I hate that whole sleep paralysis thing.)

When my drinking was getting bad, in my late 20s, at least once a month I'd have a dream about trying to hide a body. Often it was in the trunk of a car, my car. My anxiety dreams were a manifestation of my big secret, and my whole life back then was a secret. How much I drank was a secret, most of my paramours were a secret, my hopes and dreams were my secret. The extent of my unhappiness was a secret.

Then, I had a dream that I was searching frantically for my bottle of liquor in some little house. I looked under the couch cushions and I got down on my knees and looked under the couch. My mother came into the room and asked me, "What are you doing?"
"Looking for my bottle of vodka."
"Why do you need a bottle of vodka?"
"Because I'm an alcoholic, " I replied.

It took me two more years to sober up. But I digress.

Within the last few years, A new scenario has been added to my anxiety mise en scene. To wit, I'm in an ill equipped sewing room and I need to make 2 dozen tailcoats by tomorrow afternoon. Or, The opera is tonight and six costumes for the diva are cut out but not stitched together. I still have Can't Find My Shoe dreams, too, but interestingly enough, while dreaming I am am able to say "Oh well, it doesn't matter, I'll go barefoot." The costume situation always gets resolved somehow and I never panic or freak-out.

I'm attributing that reaction to the antidepressant / anti-anxiety medz I've been on for the last few years.

And now I have bunny and/or small critter dreams. Just the other night, I dreamt that my spinners group and I had gotten stranded at our retreat for some ever-changing reason. Different measures were taken to get us out but something always happened that way laid our departure. Finally, after three days, I say desperately, " Okay. Everybody grab a bunny; we're walking back!"

That just sort of cracks me up.

If you've read this far, then here is the latest Murgie news. Seems that she sprouted two testicles in the last few days. Our Lady is now Lord Murgatroyd! That little dickens!

Film at eleven.

Sunday, August 13, 2006


Click on the link. I bet you'll want one, too!

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Excellent weather today! Hot hot hot and then seemingly from out of nowhere, (the North) - a cold front blew in and pushed the stubborn heat further south. The temperature started at 90 and an hour later, it was 75. What a wind! 40 mph gusts from north skies that were angry and dark. But no harm was done save for a few little branches down and now, it's raining nicely, the wind has moved on and it's lots cooler. What's not to like?

Got those bunnies from Jean today! What wonderful babies! One is Anna Nicole's sister, Louise or Weezie, and there are two more big german boys. There's Lucy, who looks like Murgie's big sister, and only one of Fuzzarelly's brothers, FuzzyBob. I had thought there were two brothers, but I was wrong. Finally, we have Button Nose. She's an ecru colored english with a big brown nose marking and dark eyes. Got their cages up in quick time and they are settling in. How exciting to have so many new babies at once!

And be still my beating heart, the silk noil came today! I love you, Dave my UPS Guy. The silk is lightweight but with a nice, meaty hand. I will probably do a dye sample tonight since I really do need to get busy with this stuff.

I'll have plenty of non-Sweetie time as he will be working all weekend. We got spoiled there for awhile when for at least a year, he worked a regular 5 day week. Guess the new owners didn't get that memo. They are putting in new lines and cranking out a lot of product. Potato chips in every flavor. Also, corn chips and tortilla chips. And somebody on first shift quit and another is on vacation. So Sweetie works a lot of overtime keeping those wheels of industry turning.

I got those little finger splints (the folks at Davis Drugs must have seen and heard it all - no one batted an eye) and taped one onto Murgatroyd's right leg. (Was going to use Velcro but it was much too fussy.) She doesn't even seem to notice it or mind it. Here she is playing around with my new socks on the sheep.

Making a smoking section in a restaurant is like making a peeing section in a swimming pool.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Stitch and Knit

Alert the media. I have finished a sewing project. It is, however, so toad ass ugly that I will not post a picture. Said project is a purse from a kit. It is significant enough in my life and worthy of mention.

Had to locate the ironing board. It was in the pantry - who put it there? And an iron and a clear space in the studio to work. I found myself smiling standing there pressing little pieces of cotton. I sure do miss my industrial straight stitch machine, the one that got killed on the move from store to home. It had a knee lever for the presser foot and and went a thousand miles a minute. Figuratively speaking.

Anxiously awaiting the silk.

Tomorrow I believe I will be getting the last of Jean Womack's bunnies since she wants out of the rabbit raising bidness. Six new babies, and two of them are Fuzzarelly's brothers!

Next time I go into Corydon, I plan to stop by Davis Drug Store and see if they'll sell me a finger splint. Or two. You see, I think that might be the answer to Murgie's short foot problem. Maybe I can at least give her an extra inch on the shorter right leg. Velcro for the closure, I'm thinking.

Lastly, the socks are almost done and I am slowing down to make the work on them last. I do have more sock yarn so I don't know what my problem is. Should have a picture next post.

Lastly, no really, this is it, I want to share
a new drawing from an old friend and colleague from Atlanta. She is gearing up for a show, too. These are Iraqui women from a NYTimes photo. Watch out, they're wise to us.

Sunday, August 06, 2006


Just spent another lazy Saturday with Sweetie. I hate it that his hours have been so long this summer, but the overtime has helped the old financial situation. I try to make him feel that he gets the better part of our deal which is that he works hard at a job and I don't.

When gas goes up a dime, it is hardly worth noting. It becomes burdensome only in the aggregate as when gas go up a dime every several weeks. However, I do think that gasoline is not overpriced at $3.15 a gallon. I subscribe to the notion that cheap gas means never having to think about alternatives to the infernal combustion engine.

I refuse to wring my hands or otherwise worry about it. Sweetie says that despite the problems, the internal combustion engine has been a good thing. Machines are worked to death, not horses or mules or dogs or oxen or people. Air pollution stinks and is unhealthy but streets filled with horse shit and urine were nasty and spread tetanus. A solution to this current crisis will occur, bringing with it new and different problems.

I have returned to reading In a Mirror Darkly and am in the chapter titled The Papal Schism. The century was plagued with by the Black Death, constant warfare, marauders, insecurity and the Inquisition. The Church was corrupt and heedless of the needs of the peasantry, concerned only with acquiring riches and the status quo. Royalty was concerned with acquiring territory and riches and succession of their own genes. Towns were concerned not with cooperation but rather with competition and the destruction of other towns. Families took care only of their own. In the case of the Plague, even family mattered not, only one's own survival. During the Papal Schism, there were two popes, one in France and one in Rome, and each described the practices of the other as illegal and heretical. "You can't excommunicate me! I excommunicate you!" Many were sure that the Apocalypse was just around the corner.

My point? Don't worry. Be happy.

Sweetie noticed this black/brown/milk/cow type snake yesterday, crawling up the tree we were sitting under. It is amazing how he can go vertical! Can you see him? Here he is in a closer view.

Thursday, August 03, 2006



The court date was Wednesday.

But on Tuesday, Mr. Turner pleaded guilty. Guilty. GUILTY. There is a fine, one year's probation, anger management classes, and a no contact order me and Sweetie. Plus, there's the money he paid to three different lawyers that did nothing for him except postpone the inevitable. The no contact order does not cover town council meetings, which are open to the public, but I hope the board will choose not to listen or pay attention to him. Town council meeting is Friday morning.

The audit, or to be more precise, the examination, went as expected. I knew there were things that hadn't been done correctly, but she found more, blah blah blah. Please fire me!

I ordered 50 yards of silk noil fabric today. I have been thinking about sewing and art quilts and small items for fiber/art shows and it came to me that silk would be wonderful for everything I have in mind. Also, the latest issue of Fiber Art came today and prodded me to quit dithering and to get moving. I'm excited!

Life be good. And just because she's so beautiful, here's a snap of Lady Murgatroyd.