Monday, March 30, 2009

Sometimes, especially in a very small town, it is not a bad thing to be known as a Crazy Lunatic. With a gun.

I don't like guns or gunplay. Really.

But when I lived in Atlanta, in Little Five Points, and just over the tracks from the "bad part of town," I kept a loaded shotgun in my studio. Just in case, don'tcha know. All sorts of weirdos were about. We were burgled three times in four months. I worked at home and was not particularly afraid - but after the OJ verdict, nothing was for sure. Times were uncertain.

Sweetie took me out to target shoot with his .45, c.1992, and after firing it once, I remarked that "That could really fuck somebody up." All I could think of was the violence of the explosion. I could never remember about the damn safety switch, either.

So. When I had my stalker, here in lovely Laconia, a man who was crazier and even more unpredictable that me, Sweetie got me mace. And a revolver, a little .32; a point-and-shoot type of gun. No safety switch involved. I also have a slingshot and a BB gun. Sweetie has his own rifles and stuff. Which he never shoots. We are not gun nuts. Really. And I know me some gun nuts. We are not them.

But I have been known to chase after dogs with the .32 when they have attacked my dogs, in my yard. To the four way in the middle of town. And I have gone after other dogs when they have chased local children. (Oh, call the law? Or the animal control? They tell me to shoot 'em! We are so advanced here.) Stalking to the 4-way with a revolver, in sight of the General Store?

Word gets around. That chick is crazee! Don't get her mad.

Today, after hearing about four dogs in my yard this morning chasing my bunnies, and then finding one in my barn hauling ass after a rabbit, well - I did what I felt was right. Grabbed the .32 and shot over its head as he came out of the barn. There was a mild to-do. I was called a bitch and someone said I shot the dog twice. Feh. If I had meant to hit it, I would have. I do have good aim.

It sucks ass.

I just wish the neighbors would, could keep their canines on their own property. These are the same ones that had the late pit bull. Oh, shoot a dog? We'll just get another two or three.

(Also, caught a tom cat today that was hungry and stalking little buns. I was able to catch it and have turned him over to our local rescue people.

Not everybody here is an asshole. But sometimes, it feels like it.)

So, it is not a bad thing to be known as a Crazy Lunatic. And a gun-wielding one, at that. Especially since Sweetie works the 3-to-11 shift.


call toll free

Just a reminder that I have another blog. Sort of interesting.

I love the "send Lawyers, guns and money" one on the way to Mauckport.