The depression has taken a holt of me again. I physically feel good, but I have no interest in much of anything. Haven't knit a stitch on the latest pair of socks in weeks. Allergies are kicking my ass, making my asthma act up. It's hard to do anything. Sweetie has had one day off in the last two weeks, and I am lonely and hibernating while it rains. This weekend is supposed to get into the 90s and that is only another form of miserable for me. I miss my store and my friends there.
The house is a mess and the dogs need baths. And all I want to do is sleep.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
I won't even read my last post; just want you all to know where I am now. My health is better and I have lost fifteen pounds since my diabetes diagnosis. My blood pressure is almost normal and I am sure my cholesterol is much improved. Progress, not perfection.
My depression comes and goes, but never entirely leaves. Good days and bad days, I have 'em. Getting weekly allergy shots.
I still see my therapist every week, and she has really helped me to deal with my childhood issues and she has given me tools to help cope. Her daughter is a massage therapist, and I had a session with her, oh, several weeks ago. Made me feel so much better, as she really worked on a knot in my lower back that was really painful. I hope to see her more often.
I closed my little store. I needed to focus more on taking care of myself, and putting myself closer to the top of "Things I take care of" list. The shop required a 60 hour per week commitment to be done properly, and it wasn't in me to do that. Thank goodness I can still sell things through Gypsy Gatherings.
I have a plan for a liberal arts course of my own making, studying modern philosophers from Camus until today. The current New Orker has an article about Camus and Sartre, and my interest was piqued.
I have been thinking about the here after a lot lately.
Especially when I come into a room and wonder what I came here after.
Your little joke of the day. Enjoy.