Monday, October 02, 2006


Virtue is its own punishment.
  - Aneurin Bevan

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.
  - Jerome K. Jerome

Blue Acorn says "I looked at my calendar and decided that it is physically impossible for me to get everything done that I need to in the next 3 months. Oh well."

If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue.
- Unknown

I have always been an introvert, but I just realized that I have never been introspective. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE. Never have journaled. Never had psychotherapy. I throw away letters and cards. Brooding about the past but never dealing with it.

So. It may come as no surprise to some, but I just realized that I have been depressed from about the age of 14. I practiced self-mutilation at fifteen - cigarette burns on my flesh. I ran away from home at 17. My mother killed herself two weeks later. I self medicated. (Heh-heh. It was the seventies after all. Back when one could find hashish and opium and mescaline and acid.) I got sick and dropped out of high school. Swell!! Let us move 700 miles away to live with an almost stranger in a very big city.

Oh yeah. I adjusted very well. Hot dog on a stick, what a mess I was.