The last round of chemo left me weak.
It’s the little indignities that get to me; being incontinent until a week before the next round begins so I try to balance how much fluid I should drink versus how often I want to change my pee pad. It’s like I think, “I have to go pee” and my body says, “Okay!” and I say, “Wait until I get to the bathroom!” and my body says, “Oops! Too late. lol.”
I have been tired and depressed and out of sorts. Even a little weepy. The tired and depressed part very well could be allergies as I have been outside in the pollen-verse trying to garden. And the other reason is, of course, the cancer. Last time, I at least thought I was going to get well. Now, I know that I can only prolong my life at the cost of being made ill by the chemo, the next round of which begins June 8.
There is something about growing plants from seed that makes it nice to visit the greenhouse twice a day to check their progress. And they do give me hope that I will see the vegetables bear fruit this fall and enjoy the perennials again next year. Of course, I have way too many tomato plants but I am sure I can find a home for them, just not in my garden. Ditto with the zinnias. I have saved the zinnia seeds every year now for 4-5 years. They originally came from a neighbor I call Farmer Paul because he always had a huge vegetable garden that he devoted a lot a time and energy and love to. He also would have several rows of zinnias that he saved seed from for the following year. One year, he gave me a handful of seeds and thus my surfeit of plants this year. But last fall, Farmer Paul got an infection in a cut on his foot from the garden soil and it was pretty bad. I haven’t talked to him lately, but his garden is unworked and forlorn and I know he must be missing it.
Anything else of interest? Well, the Night Shift shawl is almost done; I am working the I-cord bind off so maybe I can block it tomorrow. I am anxious to return to Mosaic Knitting. I took the book, ‘Mosaic Knitting’ by Barbara Walker to the local print/u-Haul rental and returns/office supply/USP drop off/and gift shop to have them make the paperback into a spiral bound book. (There is nothing quite so aggravating as a pattern book that will not lay flat.) This was a week ago. Long story short, the lady tasked with the job screwed up the process and the book was not satisfactory so the owner ordered me another copy of the book and I truly hope they get it right this time.
I am not sure what I will knit first, but I may try a tubular scarf, knit in the round. The other thing would be an afghan made with mosaic knit squares. This would require me to order more yarn and I am not sure I want to commit.
Such is my life. Small plans.
