Monday, December 14, 2009

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Lady Euphoria, I am sorry to not play vacation, but that is something beyond me right now.

Right now? I am playing hand after hand of solitaire online, the Klondike version, in order to make the time just pass.

I used to do this with a real pack of cards when I was a kid, and I must have played ten thousand hands. To pass the time.

I tried to ecksplain depression yesterday so someone who does not suffer from it. It's hard. It's hard when one's disease is internal and not based upon one's status or belongings or needs. I have everything I want and need. Yet, I still... I am so tired of life. It is so hard to merely get up from the couch. If I didn't have my creatures, and my spinning dates, I just might not ever get up.

It's been difficult. But it is a disease, just as real as diabetes or asthma or cancer.

But I'm hangin' in there, passing time.

Today, I washed dishes, did three loads of laundry, went to the bank and recycled. For me? An accomplishment! I'll make chili tonight and play solitaire until seven thirty, when I can go to bed.