Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Chicken and Potatoes

Today's lunch for Sweetie and me: Homemade Buttermilk Chicken Fingers, Small Seasoned Potatoes, Green Salad

Monday, March 12, 2018

Today's Menu March 12

Today's Menu

Pan Baked Tilapia

Baked Vegetables:
  small potatoes
  baby carrots
  green onions

Saturday, March 10, 2018


So. My mental health is good. In fact, this has been the best winter in a long time. Two things for that: Marie, my house cleaner who comes about 6 times a month, and not being a part of the Arts Council. Both of those things make me happy and made me feel free and unburdened. 

I’ve been cooking some nice things, too. No breads or pastries because carbohydrates and type II diabetes, but sort of fancy things like chicken eggplant parmesan and pan roasted vegetables and chicken. Also a lot of fish. Someone once asked if I liked to cook and I said, not really but I don’t mind cooking but now I search online and in magazines for recipes and I try new things. I make Sweetie a nice lunch every weekday so I have a reason to cook. I still keep it all mostly healthy with lots of veg and salads and not much frying. It’s almost become fun.

Spring bulbs give so much pleasure, don't they? First with the incremental progress of green fingers reaching up, and then the pleasure of the actual bloom. Most of my plants that are indoors for the winter are doing well although I lost an orchid because the plant room can be too cold on the coldest of days. The thermometer stayed around zero for too long for the delicate things. But still, most of the succulents are fine and the geraniums have continued to bloom in their little window nook.

Facebook coughed up an old photo of mom and me. I think it was one my oldest brother posted 7 years ago and I was not at all familiar with it. I was 16 and looked such a sweet thing, which I was not. I always thought my mother was so beautiful what with blonde hair and a slim figure, but now I look at her and I don’t know her. My therapist remarked that, in photos I showed her, my mother looked positively emaciated and I thought back to memories of her not eating things she made. She cooked a lot, but wouldn’t eat spaghetti or chicken or desserts. Was she anorexic? Was her weight the only thing she felt she could control? I don’t know. Me, I love food too much and I get that from the pater's side.

Sent off my spit to to get a genetic profile. I’m fairly certain of my Great Britain roots, but here’s the thing. While it is not impossible for a 55-year old woman to give birth in 1922, it is a bit unlikely. That would be my father and his mother, if she is. The curiosity may not be answered by my genetic profile, it may toss up something I don’t know. Sweetie’s sister’s indicated a 4% from India/Pakistan but no Native American, which she was sure of. So, something interesting to look forward to.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Cold time in the old town tonight.

Oh - so much I want to write! But first let me get this off my whiny, petty chest. (And my chest is petty, that’s for sure.) Two friends of mine back in Indiana are going to the Edinburg Fiber Festival this year. Yeah, so first I am happy for them until I think, well shit,  here I was happy to be going to the Fiber Event in Greencastle, Indiana this April. Makes my dreams seem piss ant, right? And it ain’t cheap, either, that flying stuff! How can they afford to go to Scotland? Again? 

Oh, right, they both worked hard all their lives and so have money to spend on travel. Not like me, who hasn’t worked a real job in 25 years. 

And also? I hate traveling. New situations make me anxious and I would rather spend my few measly dollars a different way. Don’t like vacations, or even the thought of vacations. (Because you are going to come home in a week or two, and maybe less happy in your same old situation.) I don’t even like holidays because they throw off my routine. I am a homebody and I am not ashamed. Also an introvert with anxiety issues. 

I hope my friends have a great time, I really do! They both like to travel and both really like Scotland and I hope they buy a shit ton of yarn and take some classes. I  
will be happy to take my little trip to a place that I know pretty well, having been there 6 or 8 times before, and I will buy a shit ton of fiber and have a good time. I’ll be going with a buddy that I am very comfortable around, even though she is a Christian and believes that Satan walks among us on Earth. Can’t have everything.

It snowed Christmas eve and it didn't melt until last week and we finally had 2 days above 32º. Now it's snowed again and is -3º this morning. Fuck me.

On the other hand, the orchid I brought myself last year for mothers' day has bloomed again this year! Not that I had anything special to do with it except not killing it.

So. I have been enjoying my freedom from the arts council. It’s as though my brain has been freed up to think of something arty shit instead of being bogged down in a million little, (and some big,) details. I am not worrying about the next meeting and changing banks and getting that grant in on time and checking on emails. I have been able to let my imagination travel to weird places and think about several ideas for art pieces. I have been spinning and knitting and weaving, but I am ready to move beyond scarves and hats. Something useless and impractical.

I bought a new reed for my rigid heddle. It’s the Kromski Weaver’s Choice, which is basically a build-your-own reed with your choice of dents. I  bought extra heddle pieces, so now I have a 5, 8, 10, and 12 dent reed for my 24” Kromski Harp. I love that loom and I am enjoying messing around with the new reed. It came with a 10 dent reed, and I am thinking of getting another pair of heddle blocks so I can use 2 reeds at once to double my options. Honestly, though, I prolly have enough on my plate just using pick up sticks.

I have been having adventures on the drum carder, too, using a diz to pull off the batt as a roving. So many ways to use that technique! I made the diz from the bottom of a milk jug, (talk about cheap, nay, frugal,) but it works great. Those are the things that make me happy, simple oaf that I am.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

People are idiots.

Jeezy Chreezy. This getting dark at 5pm is bullshit and the only solace I can find is that the solstice is only a week away. 

In the recent past, I found myself angry. Jaw clenched angry. I was angry all the time. I would lay awake at night being angry. I wrote this on a piece of paper: 
Why am I so angry?
  Because people are idiots.
Which people?
  I named two people. Fucking, unhelpful idiots.
What else makes you angry?
  Having a board that does fuck all. Who have no initiative at all. Who wait for me to make every goddamn call.
What can be done?
  Leave the Arts Council.

Then I visited my cardiologist. I told him that my A-fib acted up when I was under stress. What causes you the most stress, he asked. The Arts Council. 

My therapist told me last summer that I needed to get away from the Arts Council. See where I’m going with this? 

At the last board meeting, after I chaired a particularly fine meeting, I announced that I was stepping down as president and also from the board. It was a hard thing, but I have had to do hard things before. I told my first husband that I was leaving him, for fuck’s sake. The controlling bastard who made me feel like shit. Who read my mail! Who once complained that I chopped the onions into too large of pieces. But I digress. 

It felt good, though. I am not responsible any more for press releases, updating the Facebook page, maintaining the website, giving presentations, meeting with the city fathers, buying the bottled water, finding bands and writing up their contracts, and for a million other things that I did on a volunteer basis. Done! I am no longer in charge and boy, do I feel good. I mean, 4 years is enough. And I am happy! A nicer, more cheerful person, even.

One day, even before all that, I decided that I needed to do something about my pudgy body. Did you know, YouTube has a video on everything. I searched for ‘exercise for seniors.’ I started doing some work outs that had me sitting in a chair doing some pretty basic stretching and then a little exercise for 8 minutes. I hurt so bad the next day, which took me aback. I really was out of shape! But now, 6 or 7 weeks on, I am doing 15 minutes with 5 pound weights. Each week I keep pushing it, and I work out 5 days a week. My pants fit better. Yay me! I make it a part of my morning, working out after coffee and before I walk the dogs. Yeah, yeah, I know I shouldn’t do it after coffee. So sue me.

I brought up the rigid heddle loom from the basement and I made a thing or two. I have been spinning. I knit a Deer Fucker hat. Not a Deer Stalker hat. A Deer Fucker hat. 

I made a sweater and hat. From a fleece that I spun, then dyed with natural dyes, then knit, from my own pattern.
Look how cool I am with a fucking camera
I put a wreath over the front door. I even sent some presents to my brothers and Sweetie’s mom and sister. Because I have so much shit I have made and have not sold I am giving it away. I closed my Etsy store. I have always said, I have that leftist disregard for commerce. God I hate grubbing for money. I am not a sharp dealer, and I don’t like bargaining. I hate putting a price tag on things I have labored over lovingly and happily. I had stress, guilt, and the burden of two large bins of scarfs, pins, hats, and all sorts of little bits and bobs sitting there, lonely in my fiber room, looking at me reproachfully.

I feel as though I have come to some sort of fork in the road, a turn around, two roads diverging in a wood so to speak. I’m on a better path.

Friday, November 03, 2017

Remain the Same

The job thing didn't work out. Why am I surprised? It was a great deal more stressful than I anticipated, and Boss Lady was very particular about fucking everything. God forbid the customer get 1/4" more than she paid for. What really wrapped it up for me was Day 3 when I froze the register and she had to reboot it while three customers waited, which took about 5 minutes. She proceeded to dress me down there and then. Jeezie Chreezi, I had only 15 minutes of training on the damned thing.

So I quit. It wasn't like I was being paid, even, except in merchandise, and there was nothing in that shop that I wanted.

And the urine woad vat didn't work out, either. I got the pinky/tans, not the blue. I think it was because I didn't have enough leaves, and I may have waited too late to pick them. Whatever. I gave good effort and will try again next year.

The rest of the dyeing has gone well, though, and I am finished with the body and half done with the sleeves. Ran out of tan so I used the same walnut hulls and the colors were more greyed. Interesting! There is enough pigment left that I could probably dye another pound but not sure I need it. I'm low on yellows, too, and the one green from sassafras leaves. It may be too late, but I just picked another batch and have them processing. (You shred the leaves, I used a pizza cutter, and pour boiling water over them and leave for a few days.) From what I have read, folks used to make tea from sassafras leaves and called it 'saloosh.' I tried it a couple of years ago and it indeed made a nice beverage!

The sweater body fits well! I made a kraft paper pattern and figured out the stitch numbers from measurements and gauge. I'll be damned! It worked! As long as I don't fuck up the sleeve cap, I should be okay.

I want a T-shirt that reads "Ask me about my fear of strangers." Oh, yes! Stranger Things 2 is making me happy. I have 2 more episodes to watch because I don't binge. I like to stretch out the enjoyment. At first, I thought season 1 was kinda lame and a kids show, but I rewatched it a few weeks ago and it was better that I thought. I wonder how many kids (and adults) went as Eleven this Halloween?

We've had our first light frost. Donna, a neighbor, has a dozen banana trees in her front yard. They are her pride and joy, but the frost wilted them and I figure she will dig them up this weekend.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Visit my Facebook page

What have I done but gone and got myself a job! A job, after a fashion, at a quilt store and I get paid in fabric and notions. Today I seized up the register, and Boss Lady had to unplug it and plug it back in. (Took five minutes.) Yay, me! (I really was not ready to ring up such a large ticket and I forgot that I should not hit Enter after an amount, but hit a Department Key.) Sometimes I stare at it and my mind goes blank! I at least have become proficient at Clocking In and Out, which is also done on the register.

After 3 days, I am still not allowed to cut fabric without adult supervision, which is probably a good thing. I am learning the Boss Lady ways.

So, why did I do this?
1: it gets me out of the house twice a week. (Yes, it's very part time, maybe 10 hours a week.)

B: I am not in charge. I am so tired of being the person in charge. There's the house and the dogs and laundry and cat box and making lunch every day and shopping and paying bills and and and. At the quilt store, I do whatever Boss Lady wants.

III: It is cheaper than getting a fitness center membership. I seriously need to lose some weight. The pounds sneak onto my torso and suddenly I've gained 5 pounds! And then there was the Country French bread that I became almost addicted to and lo! I gained another 5 pounds. I am active and away from the fridge.

iv: It is only 6 miles from my house.

 🔚: I come home and do not worry about it at all, even though I froze the cash register today.

In other news, I am giving away a hand knit wool hat on my Facebook page Fuzzarelly Fibers. Make a comment and I will randomly pick a name on Oct. 31and mail that person the hat. Go. Look. Comment! Likes don't count toward winning! I figure if I can't sell my stuff, then I may as well give it away. Oh, and the color bits are hand spun and dyed.

I think I have spun enough wool and dyed enough yarn for my cardigan sweater. I have 1/4 of the body and the sleeves to go.) I still have some fleece, both washed and unwashed, and some walnut hulls and pokeberries, and 3 skeins of yarn. That's just in case. But I may make a hat or two - fuck. Something more to give away!

Oh, I also have some woad leaves to pick, soon, and fermented urine. So there's that to look forward to. ☺