Thursday, September 29, 2016

You may feel a sting.

Looking at Pinterest just makes me depressed. Oh, look at that! I could do that! Yes, let's try that! Oh yeah, I have a rigid heddle loom! Yes, I could sell my handspun yarn on Etsy! How clever is that!

And in the end, I am overwhelmed and I log out. Maybe I'll just sit here and finish this monster sock for sweetie. I call it that because I am using leftover bits of yarn from socks I have knit. I at least am making them mostly identical twins so they aren't entirely hideous. Not that Sweetie minds.

I have gone back to making a "regular" heel flap because the Strong heel and the Afterthought heel don't fit as well.

So, instead of doing anything else, I sit and knit on these. Procrastination is what it is. Well, that and a  certain lack of focus. My brain seems to be in a fog lately and it makes it hard to think beyond the now.

I have reopened my Etsy shop. I made a light box and took good photos of my felt pieces and I have almost 50 views and 10 favorites, which is better than my last foray. I have other items just waiting to be photographed and listed and it just seems beyond me. It just seems to be so much work and I am tired and I feel like crying half of the time for no particular reason. I am not keen to go back on medication, though.

One that note, I finally have an appointment with a heart specialist. Since the 2 tries at cardioversion in July did not work, this is the next step, I reckon. Since my heart is arrhythmic much of the time, and my blood is not circulating properly, I am tired. I had such hopes that the cardioversion would work for me, because it does for 80% of patients, according to my cardiologist. I was depressed afterward, of course.

So. The next procedure will be more invasive: a needle inserted into my thigh and threaded up to my heart where parts of the heart muscle will be cauterized. The thinking is that this will interrupt the electrical circuit that is causing the arrhythmia. It will be an overnight stay in St. Louis. If that does not work, the next step may be open heart surgery and I don't like the thought of that. Maybe it means that how I am currently is how I will have to be, and there are worse things. I mean, my knees and hips are fine. I know too many people who have had those bits replaced. I don't have arthritis, so my hands and fingers work fine. My other internal parts seem to be working well.

Always Look at the Bright Side of Life
Corky is feeling better, at least.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Unabridged and complete.

Yesterday, the weather was beautiful with a high in the 70s, low humidity, and pretty blue skies. And I felt good for the first time in weeks! Very pleasurable. Today seems to be the same, but a little warmer.

After frogging the never-ending garter stitch shawl, I began making these. Some will become earrings, others will be tree ornaments. The eggs are for scale and to prove that the chickens are laying.

And this is 1 of 5 reasons we have furniture, apparently.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Your subscription is now due.

I am tired of just feeling bad, so I have turned that on its head. Parts of me that don't hurt and that behave normally: shoulders and arms and hands, thighs and knees down to mid-shin. If I think about it that way, it seems not so bad.

But I am unwell. I underwent cardioversion 3 weeks ago in an attempt to regulate my heart rhythm. It didn't work. Having atrial fibrillation is tiring and tiresome. I also have atrial flutter, for what that is worth. I have a slight fever due to a cold virus that is going around, so that means mucus and a stuffy head. My feet are becoming more numb due to neuropathy, which is scary. I fear that one day they will atrophy or become injured and need amputation. And my thinking is muddled and today my eyesight seems kinda blurry.

Then there's the depression. Am I depressed because I don't feel good? Nah. Sweetie says that my depression has a fine balance, a hair trigger. I work hard to keep it from tipping and that is tiring. It's difficult to avoid the people and situations that drag me down but I try. Right now, I am being very hermit-like for self-preservation.

Is this just what happens when we get older? I'll be 60 in a few months. But hey, 60 is the new 50, right? Not that long ago, a person 60 years old would be old indeed. Lucky to be alive! Just a few years left! It weighs heavily on my mind.

I'm knitting tiny socks. The really teensie ones, at 1.25", are for earrings. I've made some about 2" and don't quite know what they will be for. Right now, they are for keeping my hands busy.

I have tried knitting scarves. There was one that I knit on, garter stitch, for 2 weeks. I bound it off, hated it, and then unraveled. I tried knitting lace for 2 days until I forgot a yarn over and in the attempt to fix that, a bunch of stitches came off the needle. So fuck that and unravel. Tiny socks it is.

The chickens are fine and have started laying 4 eggs almost every day. I have clipped their wings and so they stay confined in the backyard, which is about 2000 square feet. Sweetie and I sit out there on the evenings that aren't oppressive and commune with them. I have named them Pork Chop, Bob, Pecker, and Dorothy. Pork Chop is the smartest and the most friendly and if I had the inclination, she could be trained to do tricks. But I don't.
That's Pork Chop there in the center.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Party on, Wayne.

It is 46ยบ at 9 am. Feels kind of nice, actually.

So, I made this.
Washable wool Swish from Knit Picks.
Mindless. Well, it required just the least bit of attention to work on and that is about all I have been able to afford lately.

I've been working hard on creating brochures and class schedules for Summer Art Camp, speaking about Summer Art Camp, distributing said brochures for said camp, oh and don't forget Music in the Park and that we (members of the Arts Council) will be selling food and T-shirts at, besides managing the event, and I staff the Art Center every Thursday and Friday afternoon, and, and, and. 

Today I hope will be a day to - oh right - do dishes and laundry and floors. 

I will live and it will all be okay. Sometimes a friend's daughter comes over to watch cartoons and interact with the chickens. 

Add caption
Can you see the robin's nest made of sheep wool I left out for just such a thing?

Also? I signed up to get the New York Times crossword puzzles online. That makes me happy.

Monday, May 02, 2016

For all your farm needs.

I have to give a little talk about the art council and the art center in about 20 minutes to some girls from Birthright. How in the hell? I have no religion, I am pro-choice, and I have no children so one would think not to ask me. However, I was not asked to talk about me, (although I will a little bit.)

Lunch is ready for Sweetie - roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and a green salad.

Oh, and we put up a run for the chickens yesterday. It's the first time the girls have experienced grass and direct sunshine. They seem very happy.

You lookin' at me?

And my bleeding heart bloomed!

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Cleaner than clean

I will call it a learning experience and not be too disappointed. I have finished felting the piece from the previous post and mounted the three panels on a bamboo pole. It is not what I envisioned and it is too dark by half. I should have used a lighter sky and more yellow in general. And more flowers. More yellow flowers maybe. And what the hell is the stuff in the middle, behind the flowers? I don't know. It doesn't add anything and the brown horizon is too dark.

I tried to speed up the felting process. Note to self - Don't do that! Especially in the beginning! But my back was killing me from the previous several hours of laying out the merino roving. Note to self - Do not work at the dining room table! Not standing up! The bad thing that happened was an intractable crease in the middle of the sky of the central panel. It was not fixable. I thought about it for quite awhile, and in the end, I just cut the top part off of all the panels. The size is actually one of the best parts of the piece. I will hang it over the entryway into the dining room.

So a piece that began at 28" by 54" was reduced in the end to 12" by 36." And it's ok, barely, but it is not what I had in my head when I began. Note to self - Take your time and do not rush any part of the process!

After the first gentle felting.

What I ended up with.

I have entered it in the Art Council's Open Call with the theme of "In Bloom."

On a brighter note, I bought new shoes!

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

In bloom.

The felting begins tomorrow. Right now, it is as long as the dining room table.