Sunday, April 30, 2006


Brought to you by the good folks at Lamar's Bait and Switch Shop. Remember, if you need B or S, you need Lamar's Bait and Switch.

Join us now for another internet episode of FUZZARELLY - NOTARY PUBLIC. * Hard boiled, not over easy...

It was a dark and stormy night when my phone rang. "Fuzzarelly here. Whaddya want?"

"I need a notary public to go. And no anchovies."

"Yeah, and so's your old man!"

"What? My kid needs ya! The hospital won't let them go!"

"Who's them?"

"You know, us!"

"Yeah yeah, they're being held hostage, eh? Why ya callin' me? Call the uniforms." I was about ready to hang up.

"No, no," the voice pleaded. "The hospital needs their signatures notarized before the kids can leave with the baby."

"Ah ha! The old need-their-signatures-before-they-can-leave-with-the-baby ploy. eh? Alright, I'll be there tomorrow."

The next morning, I beat feet to the maternity ward.

"Thank goodness, you're here on time!"

"Of course I'm on time, lady - I'm a notary public."

"Would you like to hold the baby?" she asked and before I could say not on your life, a tiny bundle was thrust at me. It promptly filled its diaper.

"Now, where's the paperwork and your IDs? Okay, lady, sign here. And here. And you bub, sign here. And here. And next time, keep it in your pants until you're married, okay? "

My duty complete, I made my way through the rain to the the Blue Moon Saloon to repair my hard shell.

"Give me the usual, Fred."

"Stop calling me Fred! My name's Adolph."

Join us next time for the further adventures of Fuzzarelly - Notary Public.

* apologies to Nick Danger, George Leroy Tirebiter, and Maxwell Smart.