Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Patent Pending

Oh, sweet mother of the freakin' universe.

Okay, so I know there are asswipes everywhere, and especially in New York City. I know that moving away from certain asswipes only means moving towards other ones. But, damn it.

Imagine me, a few minutes ago, in my front yard, seeing a minivan slow down to avoid creaming certain dumb bunnies that still have not learned that playing in the road is deadly dangerous. Most people are so cool. Really. They love the bunnies, watch them and look out for them. Anyway, I said "Thank you for not running over the bunnies!" Then I realized who it was when he said, "Better keep the damn things out of the road!"

Oh, thank you, Meredith Coffey, you bastard. You man that has never had One. Civil. Thing. to say to me ever since I moved here fifteen years ago. Thank you and your two friends, John Turner and Maurice Roby, for making my life so pleasant living in this small community. Thank you for rutting my yard, stalking me, and for raising harassment to new heights. Thanks for helping with the nervous breakdown! I guess it makes you feel like real macho men, doesn't it, to mess with a woman, by herself. You all all don't mess with Sweetie, do you? (Well, John Turner, you did, and you are now under a restraining order to keep the fuck away from us both.)


Sweetie and I came to the understanding yesterday, even before this latest event, that we are going to move away from The Village of the Damned, um, Lovely Laconia sometime. Maybe sooner, (hopehopehope,) or later.

He is looking for jobs all over the country. As soon as we can swing it, we are going to be long gone from here.

One good thing? Three banty eggs in three days!!!


Shay said...

Probably didn't want to get blood on his precious tires.

Anonymous said...

If you leave and go far away, I will miss you; but I certainly do understand, as I have done the same thing before. There is, however, as you well know, no end to assholes. There'll just be different ones, as I have found myself. Our current crop, however, is a little more bearable than the last crop, if that's any comfort.
Nancy NeverSwept

Mouse said...

*hugs* people are shmucks. I've lived in about 7 different states at this point and that's the one constant.. its the idiocy of people.

Knitting Linguist said...

Grrr... Some men are so underendowed that they take their kicks where they can find them. If only we could, in all legality, kick back!

k said...

It's okay here. I'm so glad I moved away from all those jackasses. I'm really pretty shocked that so many people up here are nice.