Monday, December 14, 2009

Invalid Password

Lady Euphoria, I am sorry to not play vacation, but that is something beyond me right now.

Right now? I am playing hand after hand of solitaire online, the Klondike version, in order to make the time just pass.

I used to do this with a real pack of cards when I was a kid, and I must have played ten thousand hands. To pass the time.

I tried to ecksplain depression yesterday so someone who does not suffer from it. It's hard. It's hard when one's disease is internal and not based upon one's status or belongings or needs. I have everything I want and need. Yet, I still... I am so tired of life. It is so hard to merely get up from the couch. If I didn't have my creatures, and my spinning dates, I just might not ever get up.

It's been difficult. But it is a disease, just as real as diabetes or asthma or cancer.

But I'm hangin' in there, passing time.

Today, I washed dishes, did three loads of laundry, went to the bank and recycled. For me? An accomplishment! I'll make chili tonight and play solitaire until seven thirty, when I can go to bed.

Tomorrow?

Solitaire.

8 comments:

Mouse said...

*hugs* When things get really bad for me, just getting out of bed and getting dressed was an accomplishment.. I fully understand.

FUZZARELLY said...

Mouse, Here are for you!

FUZZARELLY said...

Hugs

Knitting Linguist said...

Oh yes. I know that one. Each day is something to get through. I'm thinking of you, which I know doesn't help, but there it is...

k said...

Solitaire. I wonder how many hands I've played?
I miss actual cards. I liked the smell of them.
Six days and then they start getting longer, if not brighter.

Helen said...

I played a lot of Solitaire as a child too. Nowadays I mostly do those MahJong matching games although my iPod has a version of Klondike that makes that satisfying thwick noise.

Hang in there. Apples will grow again.

Lady Euphoria Deathwatch said...

Hi Fuzzarelly,

Been there, Done that!

I have worn out decks of cards and computer mouses playing solitaire to past the time until I could feel good things again.

Depression is a bear. My bed is a special island.

I know and will wait it out with you. Hold on to the threads of life that are true.

Love ya sister/friend, Euphoria

Helena Handbag said...

Smooches, dahlink -- I know where of thou dost speak. For me, it was endless film watching, just one right after the other ad infinitum ad nauseum. Obviously didn't help the depression but the time went slowly by.

Think of me up here in my "factory" being all dorky and wrapping gifts like a demented happy elf and give yourself a tiny smile. And then give yourself and big non-commercial Christmas hugs from the one, the only Precious.

Much love,
HH