DREAMING.

My anxiety dreams have changed over the years. Through my twenties, I had flat out nightmares - mostly of something chasing me. But I also had typical anxiety dreams, like 'the school bus is coming and I can't find my clothes/shoes/school book' or 'the school bus is honking at the end of the driveway and I try to run or yell and can't.' (I hate that whole sleep paralysis thing.)

When my drinking was getting bad, in my late 20s, at least once a month I'd have a dream about trying to hide a body. Often it was in the trunk of a car, my car. My anxiety dreams were a manifestation of my big secret, and my whole life back then was a secret. How much I drank was a secret, most of my paramours were a secret, my hopes and dreams were my secret. The extent of my unhappiness was a secret.

Then, I had a dream that I was searching frantically for my bottle of liquor in some little house. I looked under the couch cushions and I got down on my knees and looked under the couch. My mother came into the room and asked me, "What are you doing?"
"Looking for my bottle of vodka."
"Why do you need a bottle of vodka?"
"Because I'm an alcoholic, " I replied.

It took me two more years to sober up. But I digress.

Within the last few years, A new scenario has been added to my anxiety mise en scene. To wit, I'm in an ill equipped sewing room and I need to make 2 dozen tailcoats by tomorrow afternoon. Or, The opera is tonight and six costumes for the diva are cut out but not stitched together. I still have Can't Find My Shoe dreams, too, but interestingly enough, while dreaming I am am able to say "Oh well, it doesn't matter, I'll go barefoot." The costume situation always gets resolved somehow and I never panic or freak-out.

I'm attributing that reaction to the antidepressant / anti-anxiety medz I've been on for the last few years.

And now I have bunny and/or small critter dreams. Just the other night, I dreamt that my spinners group and I had gotten stranded at our retreat for some ever-changing reason. Different measures were taken to get us out but something always happened that way laid our departure. Finally, after three days, I say desperately, " Okay. Everybody grab a bunny; we're walking back!"

That just sort of cracks me up.

If you've read this far, then here is the latest Murgie news. Seems that she sprouted two testicles in the last few days. Our Lady is now Lord Murgatroyd! That little dickens!

Film at eleven.

I WANT ONE!

Click on the link. I bet you'll want one, too!

BUNNIES!

Excellent weather today! Hot hot hot and then seemingly from out of nowhere, (the North) - a cold front blew in and pushed the stubborn heat further south. The temperature started at 90 and an hour later, it was 75. What a wind! 40 mph gusts from north skies that were angry and dark. But no harm was done save for a few little branches down and now, it's raining nicely, the wind has moved on and it's lots cooler. What's not to like?

Got those bunnies from Jean today! What wonderful babies! One is Anna Nicole's sister, Louise or Weezie, and there are two more big german boys. There's Lucy, who looks like Murgie's big sister, and only one of Fuzzarelly's brothers, FuzzyBob. I had thought there were two brothers, but I was wrong. Finally, we have Button Nose. She's an ecru colored english with a big brown nose marking and dark eyes. Got their cages up in quick time and they are settling in. How exciting to have so many new babies at once!

And be still my beating heart, the silk noil came today! I love you, Dave my UPS Guy. The silk is lightweight but with a nice, meaty hand. I will probably do a dye sample tonight since I really do need to get busy with this stuff.

I'll have plenty of non-Sweetie time as he will be working all weekend. We got spoiled there for awhile when for at least a year, he worked a regular 5 day week. Guess the new owners didn't get that memo. They are putting in new lines and cranking out a lot of product. Potato chips in every flavor. Also, corn chips and tortilla chips. And somebody on first shift quit and another is on vacation. So Sweetie works a lot of overtime keeping those wheels of industry turning.

I got those little finger splints (the folks at Davis Drugs must have seen and heard it all - no one batted an eye) and taped one onto Murgatroyd's right leg. (Was going to use Velcro but it was much too fussy.) She doesn't even seem to notice it or mind it. Here she is playing around with my new socks on the sheep.

Making a smoking section in a restaurant is like making a peeing section in a swimming pool.

Stitch and Knit

Alert the media. I have finished a sewing project. It is, however, so toad ass ugly that I will not post a picture. Said project is a purse from a kit. It is significant enough in my life and worthy of mention.

Had to locate the ironing board. It was in the pantry - who put it there? And an iron and a clear space in the studio to work. I found myself smiling standing there pressing little pieces of cotton. I sure do miss my industrial straight stitch machine, the one that got killed on the move from store to home. It had a knee lever for the presser foot and and went a thousand miles a minute. Figuratively speaking.

Anxiously awaiting the silk.

Tomorrow I believe I will be getting the last of Jean Womack's bunnies since she wants out of the rabbit raising bidness. Six new babies, and two of them are Fuzzarelly's brothers!

Next time I go into Corydon, I plan to stop by Davis Drug Store and see if they'll sell me a finger splint. Or two. You see, I think that might be the answer to Murgie's short foot problem. Maybe I can at least give her an extra inch on the shorter right leg. Velcro for the closure, I'm thinking.

Lastly, the socks are almost done and I am slowing down to make the work on them last. I do have more sock yarn so I don't know what my problem is. Should have a picture next post.

Lastly, no really, this is it, I want to share
a new drawing from an old friend and colleague from Atlanta. She is gearing up for a show, too. These are Iraqui women from a NYTimes photo. Watch out, they're wise to us.

DON'T HURRY. BE WACKY.

Just spent another lazy Saturday with Sweetie. I hate it that his hours have been so long this summer, but the overtime has helped the old financial situation. I try to make him feel that he gets the better part of our deal which is that he works hard at a job and I don't.

When gas goes up a dime, it is hardly worth noting. It becomes burdensome only in the aggregate as when gas go up a dime every several weeks. However, I do think that gasoline is not overpriced at $3.15 a gallon. I subscribe to the notion that cheap gas means never having to think about alternatives to the infernal combustion engine.

I refuse to wring my hands or otherwise worry about it. Sweetie says that despite the problems, the internal combustion engine has been a good thing. Machines are worked to death, not horses or mules or dogs or oxen or people. Air pollution stinks and is unhealthy but streets filled with horse shit and urine were nasty and spread tetanus. A solution to this current crisis will occur, bringing with it new and different problems.

I have returned to reading In a Mirror Darkly and am in the chapter titled The Papal Schism. The century was plagued with by the Black Death, constant warfare, marauders, insecurity and the Inquisition. The Church was corrupt and heedless of the needs of the peasantry, concerned only with acquiring riches and the status quo. Royalty was concerned with acquiring territory and riches and succession of their own genes. Towns were concerned not with cooperation but rather with competition and the destruction of other towns. Families took care only of their own. In the case of the Plague, even family mattered not, only one's own survival. During the Papal Schism, there were two popes, one in France and one in Rome, and each described the practices of the other as illegal and heretical. "You can't excommunicate me! I excommunicate you!" Many were sure that the Apocalypse was just around the corner.

My point? Don't worry. Be happy.

Sweetie noticed this black/brown/milk/cow type snake yesterday, crawling up the tree we were sitting under. It is amazing how he can go vertical! Can you see him? Here he is in a closer view.

PINS AND NEEDLES AND MURGIE!

PINS AND NEEDLES

The court date was Wednesday.

But on Tuesday, Mr. Turner pleaded guilty. Guilty. GUILTY. There is a fine, one year's probation, anger management classes, and a no contact order me and Sweetie. Plus, there's the money he paid to three different lawyers that did nothing for him except postpone the inevitable. The no contact order does not cover town council meetings, which are open to the public, but I hope the board will choose not to listen or pay attention to him. Town council meeting is Friday morning.

The audit, or to be more precise, the examination, went as expected. I knew there were things that hadn't been done correctly, but she found more, blah blah blah. Please fire me!

I ordered 50 yards of silk noil fabric today. I have been thinking about sewing and art quilts and small items for fiber/art shows and it came to me that silk would be wonderful for everything I have in mind. Also, the latest issue of Fiber Art came today and prodded me to quit dithering and to get moving. I'm excited!

Life be good. And just because she's so beautiful, here's a snap of Lady Murgatroyd.

CORN

Tonight's dog walk was a sensuous delight. The air itself had texture - but it was a nice texture and not oppressive. I could breathe! Perfume from the mimosas was heavy at Betty's corner. Further on, the corn field was tasseling. The smell of fertility herself. O Great Corn Mother, let us have corn to eat. Bless the Corn. Corn! Now we can make whiskey!

By the way, remember this connection. Arthur Daniels Midland and ethanol made from corn. I'm just saying. And I'm not saying anything.

The night sounds were intense. Cicadas and crickets in some weird jazz chorus. Not that annoying jazz. The cardinals calling out. The C130s in training.

No art today. In spite of all good intentions, no sewing or art was done. Knitting on the socks happened and I found a repeat after about 4" in the Trekking XXL. Totally random would have so much fun!

Murgatoyd and Percival are sitting out this heat in the hallway. Which means I cleared out all the shit that has been clogging the hallway every since the store closed. I feel righteous.