Why I'm such a nutcase.

I have been thinking, in my own scattered, haphazard way, about family these days since the funeral. Which, by the way, was attended by lots and lots of people who loved Tracy dearly.

I was glad that we four siblings cared enough to come together in this time of crisis. I mean, sometimes family is all we have.

I didn't grow up feeling particularly close to my two older brothers. I was mostly allowed to hang around them if I remained silent and didn't cause trouble. Second Oldest brother, being the middle child at the time, tormented me mercilessly - I think just to make me cry. Little brother came along when I was almost eleven. He was like my own baby doll. But when our parents fought, we each retreated to our own room and coped by ourselves. I pulled the covers over my head and tried to block out the noise of their arguments. We grew up with unhappy and tormented parents. What is surprising and gratifying to me is that my three brothers are pretty damn good fathers in spite of such a poor role model. I am so proud of them for that.

When I was seven, I remember having lunch with my dad. Why it was just us two, I don't know. We had tomato soup from a can, hot from the saucepan. He was silly and said, "Boy, this soup is so cold!" to which I replied, "Daddy, you're such a fool!" The next thing I remember is being back handed and falling against the stove. I reckon I abused his pride, I don't know. What I do know is that I was seven, he'd never done this to me before and what he did wasn't right. I thought, "I don't love you anymore!" And I didn't. Ever.

You might think that age seven is too young to think such a thing. But I meant it. What did I do wrong? I didn't know, but after that, I hated him and that incident was always just under my radar. Family gatherings bring it to the surface. Brothers, that is why I either avoid gatherings or end up in tears if I do attend. That slap changed my life and not for the good. Older Brothers have different memories, I know, of our growing up. All I know is that my Mom was my only refuge; she protected me from my father. I was never hit again by him but the threat was always there and I lived in fear and hatred of him.

Does this little tale have a point? Not really, except that I needed to say it. To tell my brothers about it - as an explanation of me. I'm ashamed that at age 49 this episode still haunts me and brings me to my figurative knees.

OUT WITH THE OLD

We live in an old house. As in 1869 old. We are lucky that nobody had the money to "remuddle" after the last scion of the original owning family died in 1975 and the building went on the auction block. We still luxuriate in the nine and a half foot ceilings and there transoms over the front doors, of which there are three. There are still wooden clapboards outside and two of the original storm shutters on the lower north windows.

And boy, do we have windows. About twenty. Mostly six foot tall sash windows with 8 glass panes each.

Except in the kitchen. Probably in the 1960s, someone installed cheap new windows there and we have lived with them for 12 years. Aren't they hideous? And so not energy efficient.



Yes, that is cardboard covering gaping holes.



So. Sweetie and I have saved our nickels and dimes until had enough money to replace them this week. Just in time for the first cold weather of the season.

BEHOLD!



This is called a garden window over the sink. So cool. Not the best picture, but the cats like it.

MAYBE YES, MAYBE NO...

11AM The Bridges of Heisenberg County

Boss: Well, we'll come to that bridge when we cross it.
Assistant: I would certainly hope so.
Boss: What?
Assistant: Nothing.

Kansas

via Overheard in the Office, Jan 16, 2007

Sit, Whitey!

It is a damp, foggy, and dreary day here in Lovely LAconia. However, it is also almost 60 degrees outside and so I shall not complain. Cold weather is on the way; it's due here Tuesday night and it seems all of next week will be cold. Meaning below freezing. It's rained a lot recently and we are soggy. Murgie really wanted out this afternoon and so he was let out. Wet and dirty boy!


I am working on my fuzzarelly.com website. I thought I could transfer my blog to that domain - but I thought wrong. If you have noticed a simple web page instead of my blog, then that is why. I have switched the fuzzarelly.com server (from easydot.com to doteasy.com.) One wouldn't think that one would be so different from the other, but if you go to the new and improved site, say next week, you will see an improvement. I hope. I want to be able to offer fiber and patterns for sale there as well as post silly blather stuff. I am unhappy with what easydot had to offer and that must be why I haven't messed around with it. For a small fee, I will be transferred to much more riches, web-site-wise.

Yesterday was the Friendship Spinners monthly Spin-In, this time in Frankfort, Kentucky. It was so nice to see all my buddies and all of you others, too. Sold a nice amount of knitting needles. (Hello! I am a dealer for Brittany, Takumi bamboo, and Bryspun plastic knitting needles. And Jacquard Dyes and Paints. Also, Louet Spinning Wheels. I'm just saying is all.)

In addition to the shawl, I am knitting my signature flowers. (Pattern soon available!!) If you have seen me in person, I usually have several knitted flowers in my coiffure. People certainly remember me because of them. Since I have lost a few hither and yon, I need to replenish the floral stock. This is a picture of the product in process.




And this is Whitey, just before haircut. Sweetie named him, so I don't want to hear about it. (Although every time the name Whitey is mentioned, I can't help but remember the Bob Newhart episode in which the dentist, Jerry, gets into an elevator with a large black man and his dog. Said large black mans loudly says to his dog, "Sit, Whitey!" whereupon Jerry crumples to the floor in terror.) Ha Ha.

GO HERE...

A DROPPED STITCH and then come back. Isn't she sweet AND a great writer? I feel ever so slightly famous. Thanks, Shannon.

ME AND THE KIDS

It's been tired around here and Sweetie snapped these this afternoon. Spoke at the Lexington Quilt Guild. Yeah, me. But I wasn't particularly nervous; I know my quilts and like talking about them. I was told that I did a pretty good job and the kicker is: I got paid for it! Cool, huh? (Thanks for looking after my back, Kathy)

Bunnies make good pets and Murgatroyd is one of the best.